I didn't make it to the Notting Hill Carnival. This is purely by choice. I've been before, of course. Carnival is wonderful and colourful, full of good vibes and music and food cooked outdoors. But... I prefer seeing it on the TV in edited clips of policemen getting down and parades of shimmying peacock costumes along with smiling newslinks. In reality, it's crowded and I'm more likely to lose my handbag, toes and sanity in the crush. I'm not getting old, it's just that Carnival is like a lot of other anonymous crowds where some people start to get on my wick. The boy with the vuvuzela on the underground seems like he's getting into the spirit, but really he's just giving me a headache.
I remember one occasion where I'd wandered down Ladbroke Grove and one of the guys I was with (an identical twin so don't ask me which one) was bursting for the loo. Just like at festivals you can never get to the front of the queue. He attempted to do something in an alley which is probably illegal and with me asking him not to. He unzipped his flies to relieve himself in an alley, just as the floodlights of a neighbouring property illuminated him. That was enough to inhibit him from carrying it out. I'd HATE to live around there, to be honest. Magnify that by how many other people must have got caught short.
Anyway. Yesterday I went to my cousin's barbecue. It wasn't a huge affair with throngs of people. It was his birthday week and it happens one of his brothers has a birthday three days apart. So it was just a little get together with added birthday cakes. Hangovers were also present. There are four boys in total and the youngest installed a replacement grill just before I arrived in a forgotten part of the garden. Not sure about the brickwork, but the barbecue looks ok...
With such a high percentage of testosterone it was going to be interesting to see which alpha male got to wear the apron of authority, along with the gauntlet and tongs of fairness. In the end, the eldest birthday boy 'won' this honour and was allowed to boss his siblings around for the rest of the evening. I prefer my barbecue well-done as you never know what sort of bugs are lurking in what looks like a normal supermarket burger. I'd rather have got the mince myself and made the burgers and cooked them too... The sausages and steak looked good. Autumn truly arrived half way through when an apple fell from a nearby tree almost into the flames. We took our food indoors to eat with cups of tea. It had started to rain, by then and there's only so long you can make the youngest hold a brolly over the cook.
We got indoors and were going to put find a DVD, when Michael Jackson's 'This Is It' came on the TV. So it was crisps, chocolates and peanuts while we debated whether the late singer had lost it or not during the rehearsals. We felt he hadn't, although we all knew he wouldn't have made 50 dates in London.
I decided to leave as the lads were gearing up for another night on the lash which I didn't fancy, and my cousin doesn't live far so I hopped on a bus to take me home. This proved to be a mistake looking back. There was a woman holding a bowl under her face making awful retching sounds and I wondered where the bowl had come from... Perhaps she was on her way home from a barbecue that had 'gone wrong', perhaps it had originally held lukewarm coleslaw. It took the shine off the evening a little bit.
I started imagining the sort of food which might have caused her current state. Finally deciding on a salmonella-y mixture of chicken, half-raw burger and a dodgy lager.
She'd obviously bitten off more than she could chew. She came back into my mind when I found I'd double-booked myself (again) for promo work. Why can't I just say no when offered inconvenient work? It's nice to be in demand but do I have to be nice and not let the clients down when I've asked for a three day booking which they've changed into the next four Saturdays. If I use bowl woman as a visual aid I should be able to stop myself. In fact, that's my advice. I'd suggest you use something less shudder-inducing.
Happy bank hol.
I remember one occasion where I'd wandered down Ladbroke Grove and one of the guys I was with (an identical twin so don't ask me which one) was bursting for the loo. Just like at festivals you can never get to the front of the queue. He attempted to do something in an alley which is probably illegal and with me asking him not to. He unzipped his flies to relieve himself in an alley, just as the floodlights of a neighbouring property illuminated him. That was enough to inhibit him from carrying it out. I'd HATE to live around there, to be honest. Magnify that by how many other people must have got caught short.
Anyway. Yesterday I went to my cousin's barbecue. It wasn't a huge affair with throngs of people. It was his birthday week and it happens one of his brothers has a birthday three days apart. So it was just a little get together with added birthday cakes. Hangovers were also present. There are four boys in total and the youngest installed a replacement grill just before I arrived in a forgotten part of the garden. Not sure about the brickwork, but the barbecue looks ok...
With such a high percentage of testosterone it was going to be interesting to see which alpha male got to wear the apron of authority, along with the gauntlet and tongs of fairness. In the end, the eldest birthday boy 'won' this honour and was allowed to boss his siblings around for the rest of the evening. I prefer my barbecue well-done as you never know what sort of bugs are lurking in what looks like a normal supermarket burger. I'd rather have got the mince myself and made the burgers and cooked them too... The sausages and steak looked good. Autumn truly arrived half way through when an apple fell from a nearby tree almost into the flames. We took our food indoors to eat with cups of tea. It had started to rain, by then and there's only so long you can make the youngest hold a brolly over the cook.
We got indoors and were going to put find a DVD, when Michael Jackson's 'This Is It' came on the TV. So it was crisps, chocolates and peanuts while we debated whether the late singer had lost it or not during the rehearsals. We felt he hadn't, although we all knew he wouldn't have made 50 dates in London.
I decided to leave as the lads were gearing up for another night on the lash which I didn't fancy, and my cousin doesn't live far so I hopped on a bus to take me home. This proved to be a mistake looking back. There was a woman holding a bowl under her face making awful retching sounds and I wondered where the bowl had come from... Perhaps she was on her way home from a barbecue that had 'gone wrong', perhaps it had originally held lukewarm coleslaw. It took the shine off the evening a little bit.
I started imagining the sort of food which might have caused her current state. Finally deciding on a salmonella-y mixture of chicken, half-raw burger and a dodgy lager.
She'd obviously bitten off more than she could chew. She came back into my mind when I found I'd double-booked myself (again) for promo work. Why can't I just say no when offered inconvenient work? It's nice to be in demand but do I have to be nice and not let the clients down when I've asked for a three day booking which they've changed into the next four Saturdays. If I use bowl woman as a visual aid I should be able to stop myself. In fact, that's my advice. I'd suggest you use something less shudder-inducing.
Happy bank hol.
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